Take Me Out To Pasture

Ah the joys of aging. I didn't consider the 30's to be old, until I started falling apart at the seams. In between kids 3 & 4, I had a double umbilical hernia fixed, a tumor (the second odd vascular formation since the age of 10) removed from a pinky toe, and my tonsils removed which the ENT found out during the surgery were severely infected.

Having one's tonsils removed as an adult can be quite a task and made even more challenging when you spontaneously bleed but are reassured by the doc that as long as it isn't cups of blood, all is good. All surely was not good the morning I woke up to the cups of blood. The same spot that had been bleeding on and off for a week opened up and bled for several hours...a trip to the local ER turned into a trip to an ER an hour away because little did I know the doc did not have rights in our town. Thankfully the nurses at the local ER provided some comic relief when they thought Kirkiez looked familiar. Turns out they remembered him from when he was "dying" with a flu virus. During the ride to the 2nd ER, the ambulance tech had the nerve to say something to the effect that he didn't want me making a mess of his ambulance with the blood so he grabbed all sorts of towels and buckets. He is lucky I have a fairly decent sense of humor considering I had been experiencing this most uncomfortable problem for 3 hours. By the time we reached our destination, the bleeding had subsided, the doc was able to cauterize the spot and I talked the ER doc into letting me go home to my kids instead of spending the night with the promise that I would rest and pop iron pills to make up for the 2 units of blood I had lost. After a month of anemic dizzy spells, I was as close to normal as I could get.

Now, 2 years later and with my 34th birthday quickly approaching, I am going thru another lovely medical adventure. I have stumped the doc with the cause of the hip pain that has lingered since a fall down the stairs 3 years ago. I was carrying kid #2 when she was 6 months old I took a spill. I spared the kid any bumps and bruises and took the brunt of the fall in my hip. After 2 weeks of a limp that conjures pictures of that horrible horror flick Shocker, the pain transformed into a dull sensation that I attempted to pinpoint by getting an xray until I found out I was pregnant with kid #3. I never got that xray and am finally getting around to figuring it out what's going on. An xray has proved there weren't any breaks, so I now get to see an ortho. I'll probably be told I need one of those lovely steroid shots that feels so good and of course won't be able to get that until I am done nursing which will be in another 6+ months.

On top of the hip, I have a beautiful facial cyst that was born 1.5 years ago...the ortho I saw for my toe said cysts are very common for someone like me whose hormones have been on a roller coaster ride since I have been pregnant and/or nursing constantly since December 2000. Due to the location and nerves present, I was sent to a plastic surgeon who will remove it next week. His surgical partner is the one who reattached Bobbitt's member...guess I am in good hands. :)

And it doesn't end there, I got sick with Parvo (Fifth Disease) in the beginning of the year which made me anemic, I get my first permanant crown attached next week, and must find the time to schedule an MRI of my brain due to mysteriously smelling cig smoke that doesn't exist and occasionaly feeling dizzy enough to almost pass out. Kirkiez recently started a new position in a new group at work and taking time off to help watch the kids while I enjoy this wonderful medical adventure, isn't the easiest to do, plus his boss must think I am a train wreck....I sure do. I seriously thought I was losing it and did not tell a soul about the smoke smells until a week later when I was able to search the web and found other's who suffer from what is termed phantosmia. My gen pract sent me to the ENT when he felt a lump on one of my throat glands and saw a polyp in my nose. I was treated for a sinus infection and started taking Claritin, but the smell returned and now I get the MRI to rule out fun stuff like brain tumors.

So instead of feeling like celebrating yet another year, I feel like I should be taken out to pasture and put out my misery. I think I will either call it a night and retire extremely early or drink just enough cocktails to feel loopy enough to forget my worries, but not so much that I can't wake up in the morning and tend to my 4 lovely children who will be wild and rambunctious whether or not mommy has a headache.